Wow, as I reread the last post we wrote, (dated June 3rd – oops!) it’s almost exactly what I was planning to write today! Turns out instead of being days away from our homestudy being completed, we were actually months away. If I had realized that, then, I would have been heartsick, but so much good has come out of these last 5 months that I wouldn’t trade it! God knew exactly what our family needed and we want nothing more than to be ready for our family to grow!
So to officially announce it – OUR HOMESTUDY HAS BEEN APPROVED! Woo-Hoo! Yesterday I fedex’d our I600A into USCIS and now we wait to get an appt to get fingerprinted and then approved for a referral. (If you’d like another run down on the timeline, there’s one in the post below)
I really want to share why our homestudy took so long, I’m not sure if I’ll have all the words to explain it fully, but I’ll give it a try. I really want to honor our kids and not cut them down in any way, hopefully my heart for them will come through loud and clear. They are two of the best kids I’ve ever known in every way! 🙂
Any one who knows us at all, knows that we have long struggled with our son, Beau. God gave us an amazingly gentle and compliant first born daughter to ease us into parenting at the ripe young age of 21, but 2 short years later, He lovingly showed us that it was not our prideful, spot on parenting that gave Lily, her easy going nature, (don’t hear me wrong, Lily has just as many heart issues to grow in as the rest of us, it’s the outward manifestations of those that are different). Beau was born with a personality and a will that we weren’t used to and we’ve struggled to keep up with ever since. As we’ve walked down this path of adoption, he’s been a big concern of ours, while he is over the moon about having a new brother and sister, we know just how difficult things might really be once they’re here and although we talk about it all the time, we know it’s next to impossible for him to really understand what’s ahead. When these kids join our family, our boys will be within a year apart. We know that this means it’s highly likely that there will be competitiveness, jealousy and more. We also have vision of a close relationship and lifelong friendship, but we’re really gearing up for some challenging times.
So last Spring, we dove into some family counseling with Beau. He was super responsive from the beginning, (well not actually literally responsive, it was almost always like pulling teeth to get him to share how he was feeling about it all, but he was very compliant). Our counselor Karen was great with us and patient with Beau. We worked through lots of strategy’s and ways to help Beau think through situations he might find himself in, we implemented a lot more structure than we’d be used to operating out of and lots more. One major thing that came out of all of that was that we actually diagnosed Beau with ADD. I had never even considered that could be something he was struggling with because I felt like he could focus and could sit still when he needed to, school has never been much of a problem for him. But we realized that a lot of the behaviors he does struggle with fall under the impulsive category and a lot of other things, (I know some of this is coming out a little vague, I’m trying to be respectful to Beau and also not make this post take 30 minutes to read!).
We have decided to manage this with Beau in a few different ways, I think I’ll save more of an explanation of that for another time, but I will say that primarily it’s through counseling, medicine and diet changes. We know that this will be something we are evaluating for the rest of his life, but for now we have a lot of peace about the decisions we’ve had to make. Also, Beau has experienced a ton of HEALING!! Praise God! We are continually seeing growth in Beau that we never thought would come. He is much slower to react in anger and if he does slip up, he’s much quicker to calm down and even apologize! We are finding that role playing a hard situation ahead of time makes a huge difference in his decision making skills and that he thrives in more structure than we were offering him before. Again this is like the tip of the ice berg and we’re happy to talk more about it with anyone who is interested, but I’ll try to keep it short for this post. 🙂
So with all that to say, we have come to a place where we were able to show enough progress that our homestudy could be approved! We are overjoyed and so thankful to be taking steps forward, (although we truly believe we have been taking steps forward this whole time, it does feel like its more tangible now!) we can’t wait for the day when our family grows to a family of 6!
We will try to dive back into keeping these posts coming – please click the follow button so you’ll always be in the know. Thank you so much to everyone who has continued to support us along this journey – we couldn’t have done it without our family, our dear friends, our community and most importantly, our Father God who has loved us every step of the way and has never left our side. He loves every one of us and is working all of this for His glory! Thank you, Father!